mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
