weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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