You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We left the knife in your bed.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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