Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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