Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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