I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
