And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize