She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Randomize
