I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
