Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
