how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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