Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
