If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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