what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
