who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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