i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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