People in love make me want to vomit
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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