Come see our sink grown plant.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
