I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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