alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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