I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
