It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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