Fuck appropriateness.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
