Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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