glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
