I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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