i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
