What a fucking waste of an outfit
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
