Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he was CRYING into my vagina
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
