Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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