I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
