you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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