I need help removing her.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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