Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
