what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
