She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
