Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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