What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize