everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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