Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize