it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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