turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
