You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
