Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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