im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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