people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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