you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
