True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize