What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
