Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
