Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
