I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
