i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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