Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
