she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
