she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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