Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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