Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
