his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
