I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
