So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
