sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
