Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
two words...techno handjob
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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