Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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