Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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