you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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