I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
