You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
