Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
A+ Viking dick
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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